2018 reset

I am looking ahead to 2018 with enthusiasm but also fear as unknown brings both fortunately. I truly feel grateful for everything I have achieved so far and look forward to this new chapter in my life despite the fact that it scares me. 

So 2018 is about beginnings on all fronts. Beginning of a new life in a new country, new job, new people, new adventures. With no one by my side for the moment. 

I want to start drafting my resolutions with courage yet in a humble way. Hence here I go:

- definitely I want to embrace the Italian culture: exploring the super tasty food, getting used to the true espresso, learning Italian, dressing like an Italian and embracing their passion for chit chats, ventilation and local pride. Sure, I would also love to immerse in dolce far niente at some point...

- to zoom in a little bit, I really want to enjoy life here, sipping lazily on a cappuccino (in the morning it's socially acceptable) on a Saturday morning, lost in the reading or just observing people, traveling to cosy places in the weekends, exploring tiny family business restaurants, buying flowers for myself, smiling to random people on the street, rewarding myself with a nice pair of shoes on sales and feeling tipsy on a random Sunday evening. Just because I can:)

- I want to start sleeping cloth-less if you know what I mean. Studies have shown that this is the best thing for your body (and for couples, so who knows). While I am not proud to report that I sleep dressed like a grandma as I am always cold and my feet are like ice. So in reality this is a big task that I am going to approach little by little, while investing in super warm duvet. 

- I want to learn to fail small and be ok with it. As mentioned before, one of the greatest pains I have is my own perfectionism (a nice name for OCD). I have started accepting my vulnerabilities and be ok with the fact that I am not Wonder woman everyday every hour but it takes so much more to fully get there. 

- easily connected with the above point, I want to simplify my life. Get rid of the noise. Get rid of the barriers I make up all my myself. I have unpacked all the 15 boxes of my past, arranged everything neatly and I am committed to keep it simple. Less clutter, more joy.

- I want to get back the sparkle in my eyes. Somehow I lost it to routine, OCDs and compromises. I want to live and love fully because I owe it to myself. 

- I aim to be a kind person. I have always been yet with a high note of judgmental. I want to lose some of the perceptions of how should one behave just because I behave in a certain way. People are different and I can't change that, hence I will continue to work on adjusting myself or letting go. 

- I want to dose my ego and cut the bullshit. Past suffering has been amplified mostly due to my ego and I think it's time to change that. This means telling people how I feel rather than always protecting myself. I like you (and you might not), you made me feel worthless (and you should know this is not ok), I will fill in for you (but not every time), no, I can't do that (sometimes it's me first) - I want to embrace all of these in a healthy way. 

And so it ends, no bullshit, no prince charming, no overpromises. Just a warm duvet to start with...:)

This world is watching me...